Alias Sank Jenny

2008-12-03T22:42:00.000-08:00

you are my own personal brand of heroin.

who ever would have thought you could take something from Twilight and apply it to your life.. but have you thought about that line? what is like a drug to you? do your hands tremble when you think about getting this heroin again? are you and living and breathing just to get your fix?

i am.

just feel it. it feels like fire and torture and hatred burning and bubbling up under your skin but god - it feels so good. i let it race and burn through my veins to the point where i feel like screaming and laughing and crying all at once.

i can feel you all around me
i lean back and clasp my trembling hands together.. i open my mouth and soft wispy breaths escape pulling my eyelids closed.. my head falls back and my eyes slowly open and i look up.. waiting for it. it'll come. i hear you then and my body tenses up... painfully so.. feeling the fire and hate and torture. my heart is about to explode and my head is pounding.. i reach up to rub my temples and wipe away the moisture on my face. i hear your voice again and suddenly i smile. because i realize..

you are also the reason i'm alive.

i often wonder what my life would be like if i didn't have my drug. what i'd be like. would i be as happy as i am now? or would i be better off without it? i guess you can't have love without pain.. but would i want the love if the pain didn't come with it? i ask myself these questions constantly.
would i rather have a life without pain and suffering and out of control emotions, or with it?

i might already know the answer to that.

2008-08-23T09:44:00.000-07:00

i really really like shooting shows with an slr. it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. a couple weeks ago i shot the dear hunter/lydia show and it was just incredible. leighton from lydia is a freaking beast on stage.

kevin devine is coming here next week and there's a chance i might shoot that. he's acoustic so i think that would make some great great shots.

danger radio is coming to recher in.. october and i was toying with the idea of applying for a photopass since it's not as small as ottobar. in ottobar you don't need a photo pass because there's no designated photo pit.

i'm so excited to get my camera and not have to use my mom's anymore. i love her's... but i'd like to have my own. canon digital rebel xti. :D there are sooo many lenses i want. 50mm, 100mm, fisheye, and a lensbaby. i'm starting my job really really soon and i'm stoked.

okay so this boy...

2008-05-16T21:19:00.000-07:00

is basically the hottest thing i've ever seen in my life.
haha.

happy motherfucking birthday

2008-04-28T20:47:00.001-07:00

to me.

too bad it's not all that happy.

I need to start using this thing more.

2008-04-25T20:30:00.000-07:00

1. I think The Cab are N*SYNC in disguise. If the make a video for "Bounce" I hope to god that there are synchronized dance moves. I would die, haha. Guilty pleasures for the win. I was addicted to "Risky Business" for a couple days.

2. Bamboozle is next weekend. I'm freaking excited. ENVY ON THE COAST, Paper Rival, The Fall Of Troy, Danger: Radio, Circa Survive, Anthony Raneri (of Bayside), Brighten, Coheed and Cambria, Jimmy Eat World, Snoop Dogg (haha), As Tall As Lions, All Time Low, Jack's Mannequin, Less Than Jake, Lydia, Mindless Self Indulgence, Saves The Day, The Audition, THRICE, THE STARTING LINE, THE RECEIVING END OF SIRENS, Finch, Every Time I Die, Good Old War, The Dear Hunter, The Cab, The Bouncing Souls, Scary Kids Scaring Kids, Mayday Parade, Motion City Soundtrack.... and that's not even the entire lineup. It's going to be a packed two days for me.

blahhh. that's kind of it.

Say Anything, Manchester Orchestra, Biffy Clyro, Weatherbox - 3/30/08

2008-04-10T09:43:00.000-07:00

The Recher Theatre - Baltimore, MD

Can I start off by saying that people are fucking annoying? When the first band was setting up, these assholes kept going on and on about how much Manchester Orchestra sucks (they do not, by the way). Then, I had this fucking 12 year old throwing around the f word complaining that they were taking too long. She was obviously there for Say Anything, and later during their set, I only saw her singing along to “Wow! (I Can Get Sexual Too)”. You have no idea how many idiot girls were there.

These dimwits were fucking talking over Manchester Orchestra. So I turn around and say “You realize you’re talking over an amazing band, right?” The idiots say “You can still hear you’re right next to the speaker blah blah blah”. So you know what I say? “It doesn’t matter; I can still hear you talking while I’m trying to enjoy this band”. What I really wanted to say was “That really doesn’t matter. You guys are letting shit fall out of your fucking mouth while this incredible band is pouring their soul out on stage.”

God I hate people.

[ / rant ]

Anyways.

Manchester Orchestra.
They are one of the most incredible, passionate bands I have ever had the privilege of seeing live. I was in awe, I was amazed. Emotion basically oozes off them. It was so overwhelming and intense.

During “Where Have You Been”, near the very end, Andy drops his microphone, sets down his guitar, comes to the edge of the stage and starts screaming the rest of the lyrics. He walks back to the middle of the stage, pulling his hair like he can barely stand the emotion that’s building inside him. I could barely breathe.

Say Anything.
So fucking fun. Ridiculous amounts of fun. Singing along to “Admit It!!!” was one of the best times I’ve ever had. I have Coby’s drumstick too. Apparently people like me at concerts? It fell between the barrier and the stage and the security guy gave it to me.

I got to barrier before the first band even started. I had an amazing spot, but unfortunately I forgot my camera. The entire time I was seeing photographs in my head, it was torture.

http://www.myspace.com/sayanything
http://www.myspace.com/manchesterorchestra
http://www.myspace.com/biffyclyro
http://www.myspace.com/weatherbox

You're worth more than you can see.

2008-02-26T18:07:00.000-08:00

This is such a hard subject. There is endless amount of emotion that comes with this, and I feel I’ve only scratched the surface. When I try and sit down and talk about it, or even sit down and write about it, it just never comes out the way I want it to.

This isn’t a straightforward, simple thing. It’s an emotional, messy, heart wrenching thing. But isn’t that what love is? Emotional and messy; yet amazing?

…I hope you all know what I’m talking about.

Envy on the Coast.

You might thinking, “My god, will she ever shut up about this one goddamn band?”

But the thing is, I can’t.

They crawl under my skin and make my body seethe and writhe with emotion. My throat closes up and my heart starts to burn. I respect and admire these boys not only for making music that affects me so, I also greatly respect them as people.

I am baffled by how this one little band, can make one little person feel this amazing inside. I don’t understand how they have this power over me. I don’t understand how they can bring tears to my eyes, thoughts to my brain, and emotions to my heart. All at once. How that is even possible, baffles me.

It’s like one of the boys shoved his hand into my chest and started squeezing. Constricting my lungs so I can’t breath, and squeezing my heart so the feeling gets bigger and more powerful. I choke over every lyric, every chord, every beat, and every note.

They wrench my heart into a knot so it is stuck on that one feeling. I can’t seem to shake it; I can’t seem to get this chill out of my bones.

Thanks a lot.
I've been disadvantaged from the start.
He constricted the veins heading straight to my head,
Re-routed the blood to my heart instead.
-"Starving Your Friends"

The PacTour- The Live Photos

2008-02-20T08:45:00.000-08:00

**All of these pictures are of the band Another Day Late.

The Pac Tour- 2/16/08

2008-02-17T12:42:00.000-08:00

-Another Day Late was pretty awesome. The bassist fucking owns.

-Elan from Danger Radio has the best dance moves you will ever see in your life.

- During Danger Radio, the first song, I was the only one singing along (more like going nuts, but whatever). Andrew sees that and leans down and starts singing to me.

-For DR and ADL, I was right up against the stage, dead center. Lead singers crotches = in my face. Shoving started so my mom pulled me out of the crowd. I was pissed, as you can imagine. I had the best fucking spot you can imagine.

-Managed to get back into the crowd, against the stage all the way to the right for Envy and The Audition.

-Ryan was sick, so Brian and Sal sang more.

-I couldn’t hear any of The Audizzle’s vocals. And I now have Seth sweat all over me. That boy was making a fuck face, yo.

-Everyone on the tour came out during The Audizzle’s last song and Larry (Envy’s tour manager) and one of the tech guys jumped into the crowd.

-Met Sal, Jer, and Ryan from Envy. Timmy and Joe from The Audizzle. And Kohl from ADL. I have pictures too. I look stupid in them all, sadly.

-When I tapped Ryan on the shoulder for a picture, he turns around, looks straight over my head, and then finally looks down at me. hahaha.

-The music at the after party was fucking sick.

That is all.

Me and Kohl from Another Day Awesome

Me + Joe and Timmy from The Audizzle

Me and Jer from Envy

Me and Ryan from Envy (Arggg, I look like an idiot. WTF prompted me to stick me tongue out.)

Me and Sal from Envy (I look nastayy. That's what I get for head banging for all of The Audizzle's set.)

Anthony Green (12-28-07)

2008-01-29T11:25:00.000-08:00

I love this shithead.

(These were the only good ones out the of bunch, and I was too caught up in Envy's performance to take pictures.)

2008-01-26T17:08:00.000-08:00

I know a girl who shares a name with a guardian, don't be ashamed. She was a saint.

I am in love.

You know what with?

Life.

2008-01-06T17:12:00.001-08:00

Life is good.

Anthony Green/Envy On The Coast/The Dear Hunter/Untitled Band/12-28-07

2007-12-29T08:43:00.000-08:00

So, we got to the venue at six, and the doors opened at seven. The guy in front of us was, ehem, very cute. But then these Hollister/Abercrombie chicks ran up to them (they were obviously friends), and all I could think about is how it sucks that Envy On The Coast’s fanbase is going to be like this. I have nothing against the clothes themselves (although I certainly wouldn’t wear them), just the type of attitude that seems to come with it. ANYWAY, I’ll get back to the point.

The first band, I honestly have no idea who they were. They said that Days Away couldn’t make it and they were playing, and later Anthony said something about Days Away… I was fucking confused. And the sad thing was, I really liked them, and I have no idea what their band name is, or if they are really Days Away and they’re trying to fuck with people.

So the untitled band, was in a word, amazing. I really enjoyed their set. Oh, and for the first two bands, I was about three people away from the barrier. And I could barely see because I am fucking 4’10. Also, this dude later kept commenting on the fact that I couldn’t see, and asked if I wanted to sit on his shoulders. Obviously, I said no.

The Dear Hunter, (aka Casey doing an acoustic set by himself) was next, and holy fucking jesus he was amazing. He covered “Lilac Wine” by Jeff Buckley, (a request from Jer. And maybe Brian too because I saw him watching from behind amps with Jer) which was probably one of the greatest moments of my life. Casey ended with “Red Hands” and it was, well, incredible.

You know what I love? All of the bands came out and helped set up their equipment. BTW, Sal’s hair is incredible. I’m just saying.

ENVY ON THE COAST. Well, what can I say? Amazing, incredible, fan-fucking-tastic. The only thing I didn’t like is that they didn’t play “Lapse” or “Starving Your Friends” or “Artist and Repertoire”. They only had a limited amount of time, so I get it. About maybe, three songs in, I had the thought that I had to get to the barrier. (Realize, that I was in this crowd alone. I had the thought in the back of my mind that a pit might start during Envy, and as much as I would want to go in, my parents don’t want me to. I had to be responsible about this.) So, I basically used the “I’m a little girl” card. I got my way to the front, NOT BY SHOVING, but by asking, and oh look! It worked. I guess these brown eyes work.

So for the last couple songs I was right in front of Brian. I can honestly I acted a damn fool during “The Gift of Paralysis”.

Ryan Hunter is one the most amazing singers you could ever have the gift of hearing live. Well, actually the entire band is one of the best you could see live.

ANTHONY GREEN. He played a lot of new stuff, so I pretty much didn’t know anything he sung. (Except for “Act Appalled” which is a Circa song) Basically, I leaned against the barrier just enjoying the quirkiness that is Anthony Green. The drummer for untitled brought him out shots from time to time. And the one time he looked at me (or in my general direction), and I saw his eyes, jesus. He was so fucking stoned, it was hilarious. Oh, how I love that man. And, oh, how close I was to meeting him, but my dad made me leave.

Anyway, the last song of the night everyone came up and played. (Except for Casey) OH, and, I made eye contact with Sal several times. Fucking pointless, but he was probably was looking at me because I had the dumbest grin on my face and he was probably thinking “What the hell is wrong with this chick?” Sandee, I thought you’d appreciate that. And the fact that I thought of you when it happened. Haha.

Awesome quotes and incidents from last night:

Drummer from untitled: Now everyone say FUCK YOU ANTHONY GREEN!

Ryan: (laughing) You’re so fucking drunk.

Sal: Ch-ch-check.

Anthony: Jump on it jump on it jump on it.

Random guy from crowd: SEVEN YEARS!

Anthony: Honestly, I don’t even remember how to play Seven Years. But it makes me feel good that you could go hear it played a hundred times but you’d rather hear it from me.

Anthony: And that’s a new song that kinda hasn’t been written yet…

Same guy: And it sucks!

Anthony: Aw, thanks. (Smirking)

Anthony coming up during untitled’s set and giving the drummer a drag of his joint.

Anthony prancing around stage with Sal.

Sal’s hair. Period.

Anthony grabbing everyone on stage and hugging them.

Best concert so far.

“Throwing punches at ocean waves…”

Paramore/The Starting Line/The Almost/ 11-23-07

2007-11-24T09:49:00.001-08:00

We got to the doors around six p.m. I had found out my friend Allie was going to the concert also, so I got to cut in line. Yay for cutsies!

Anywho, The Almost was first. I only knew three songs by them, because I have yet to get their CD. They started with "Southern Weather". Aaron's voice sounded so tired and worn out, I feel for the guy. THEIR DRUMMER IS A FUCKING BEAST. I want to BE him. I also wanted to scream out 'Kenny you fucking rule!' but I wasn't quite sure the drummer's name WAS Kenny. (I faintly remember his name being Kenny, but I didn't want to yell it out and be wrong. haha) They ended with "Say This Sooner" and "Amazing Because It Is".

The Starting Line was next. As soon as they started playing, I immediately felt sorry that I didn't know more songs by them. Hearing them live makes me want to buy all of their CDs and listen to them into all hours of the night. Kenny Vasoli (lead singer) actually came out and sung with The Almost too, which was fun. The only song I knew by them, "Island", they played next to last. Kenny sounded absolutely amazing.

And, now onto the headliner. Paramore. They started with "For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic"

Hayley Williams (lead singer) sounded good from what I could hear. I imagine every person in the room was singing along, including moi. I screamed out 'Taylor, you rule man!' at least three times when it was quiet, hoping he would hear me, but alas, he didn't. A ton of people were screaming out 'Hayley I love you!', and me being me, I screamed out 'Hayley I don't love you!'. haha.

Uh, they also played "Fences" and "Let This Go" and of course "My Heart" and "Pressure". I think they also played "Decoy". Paramore's energy on stage is amazing. They all work so well with each other.

And OF COURSE, they played "Misery Business" as the encore. OF COURSE.

The thing was, when I bought the tickets I liked Paramore a lot more. Now, I don't like them so much. They're a fun listen sometimes, but not anything uber powerful or moving. But, whatever.

I have some crappy cell phone pictures and a couple crappy videos, which I'll post later once I go through them throughly.